catching up

Dear reader,

Long time, no see! I want to start by apologizing for the extended hiatus over the past few months, but also acknowledge its significance for me. Today's letter will be made up of some major life and future updates, insights into my mindset for the past several months, and my intentions going forward. Things may look different than I initially intended, but I am excited for what’s to come :)

Last time I wrote, I was struggling to find much creative inspiration. It was February, and I had just finished up an intense season of applications, interviews, and auditions. I did not have a clear picture of the path ahead of me, but I knew I was staring down some major changes at the time. I was awaiting decisions from several options for summer employment, and the even larger decisions from graduate programs. I will likely be writing a second part of my article about the graduate school application process, but at this time, things felt fairly unsure. I had my heart set on a specific teacher and program, and while I felt my audition went well, I could not get my hopes up too early. This uncertainty, and some other, more personal shifts in my vision of the future, caused me to retreat quite far into my own self, and made the idea of even beginning to write feel like an insurmountable obstacle.

Part of me feels that I've been in survival mode since this time. Fortunately, I quickly gained some wonderful clarity regarding my next steps. I found out fairly soon after my last post that l was offered a position as an Operations Assistant for the summer at the Aspen Music Festival and School. I am going to be working directly with the Operations team and directly overseeing the Lemonade Stand and refreshments program. I am so excited to be driving down to Colorado in just a few weeks, and to have a few months to live in and enjoy the beautiful state. I am even more looking forward to the opportunity that this position will allow me to expand my experience in my field, and to combine my love for music and performance with my history in customer service and management.

This news helped a lot, and took away my active nervousness about the potential of a summer without work. Ultimately, however, was still mentally awaiting news from schools. My goal program sent out an email informing prospective students that decisions would be posted on April 1st, and that date became the light at the end of the tunnel. I received an offer from a different program, one which I really liked, but it didn't feel like the same perfect fit. Two days ahead of schedule, I saw an Instagram post from the Peabody Institute (the secret dream program) instructing prospective students to check their emails. I literally ran out to my car to grab my iPad and check my inbox, and was so thrilled to see that l had received an offer to join the studio of Tony Arnold (the secret dream teacher). After some financial aid negotiation, l accepted the offer with an elated form submission :)

While I was riding this high for a few weeks, I had to begin the difficult process of finding an apartment and committing to moving plans. I am lucky to have connected with a roommate (who also happens to be a former guest of the newsletter), but there have been many hours spent on apartments.com and various similar pages, and we still have not got a confirmed plan. This work, plus continued hours at Wegmans, teaching, and preparation for a busy few weeks of performances, kept me away from writing even longer.

I think I am finally returning to the present, open headspace that I've been craving, and that led to the creation of this newsletter in the first place. I am currently home in Rochester, about to head to a rehearsal for a concert in Brockport. I'm writing at a table in a cafe that I have been frequenting since fifth grade, a place that has witnessed countless ups and downs, a few first dates, multiple friend groups, and unending post-concert little treats. This may be the last time I'm here for the foreseeable future, so it felt right to use it as a space to channel some of my returning creative energy.

I am excited for what's to come, truly. There are big changes ahead, but even before that, I get to spend a little more time making music with people I love in a place that I love. This weekend, l have performances in Brockport and Syracuse, and next week, I am excited to be sharing a recital, Songs of Farewell, with my collaborator and friend Sona Minasian and a roster of incredible musicians. The following week, amidst packing to move and final farewells to Ithaca, I am hosting a song-share recital for some of my lovely voice students and friends. Then, off to Aspen!

I'm still not certain of how I will approach this newsletter going forward. I will not be returning to the weekly schedule, at least for now, but will likely share letters as I feel inspired to do so. I hope to vary between interviews, structured essays, and more informal updates such as this one. I am so grateful to those of you who are still reading; thank you for sticking with me during this weird, changing time.

If you are in the area, please check out the information linked above about upcoming performances! I hope to write again soon <3

Thank you for reading,

Caitlin